Kids and Cell Phones

If you’ve ever been here before, you probably are aware that we’re a homeschooling family. As such, we’ve never really had much of a need for cell phones for the kids and I just wasn’t that interested in getting them involved in the whole “texting” thing. We were able to avoid it because when the kids had activities, I was there and there really wasn’t the pressure of traditional schoolmates running around with cell phones, texting all over the place. My oldest, a boy will be 14 soon and he’s never really shown any interest in getting a cell phone, although if XBox Live ever finds away to provide mobile communication, he’ll be all over that. My 11 year old, is an entirely different story; a girly girl, who is always interested in communication, constantly looking for new ways to express herself has taken to the telephone in a big way. She and her friends, mostly other homeschooled girls call each other all the time, spending hours talking about everything under the sun. The girls are all interested in musical performance and I can hear them sometimes, on speaker phone working on songs together. I don’t really mind so much, having my phone line tied up all the time, and I guess that’s a good thing, because my daughter ignores call waiting. I figure I have my cell phone, so if I need to chat with someone I can use that. I knew that we were going to have to make some changes however, the night that I had no cell service and Haley was on the phone and I had to make her get off the phone in order to catch my husband while he was on his way home to pick me up some wine. Priorities people, priorities.

More and more though, the girls would talk on the phone.  Sometimes it would be hours that I didn’t have access to my phone. I decided to add a line to my cell phone plan, easily justifying it due to the fact that the kids, getting older, have more and more activities that take them away from my watchful eye and I want them to be able to reach me, without having to ask any adult. Paranoid? Why yes, I thought you said you’d been here before. I picked out an inexpensive phone, let her pick the color (black – she’s very cool) and set it up.  I even lowered my monthly payment.  We share the minutes, which I don’t really use much at all – I’m all about the data plan – she’s allowed to call people who have the same provider that we do whenever she likes (That group consists of me, one of her friends and Grandpa) and she can speak from 9pm on Friday till Sunday night to whomever she likes, whenever she likes as long as her chores aren’t neglected and she’s clear on her friends’ parents’ rules regarding the phone and respects them. I get the phone back on Sunday night and from then till Friday, she needs specific permission to use it.  I did not get her a texting plan, as I see no reason for an 11 year old to need a text plan.  Sorry, I just don’t.  If I were to break it down and bullet it, I would say that my top 5 tips for giving your child a cell phone would be:

1. Expectations – talk to the child about what is and isn’t allowed, what’s expected of him or her and the reasons that you might feel it necessary to take the phone away.
2. Limits – Have specific times that the child may use the phone.  Whatever is right for your family and your child’s needs.  Whenever a child is going to an event that I’m not attending, they take the phone, other than that, she needs permission during the week and has free reign on the weekends
3. Communication – just like social networking, internet use, gaming, instant messaging, etc – Always have the lines of communication open.  Make sure that your child knows, really knows that they can tell you ANYTHING and I do mean ANYTHING.  Probe if you hear something that piques your curiosity – these kids can be talking about anything and I think it bears repeating that if you don’t explain things to your child, someone else will.  Especially the things that are less than comfortable to talk about.
   
4. Safety – the only thing that I can say that’s been even close to a problem for us is my daughter not paying attention to what she’s doing while she’s on the phone.  We had to readjust our rules for talking on the phone while we’re walking the dog.  She’s not quite dexterous enough yet for that sort of multi-tasking.
5. Etiquette – This might seem trivial, but I really don’t think it is.  I taught my daughter how to ask for someone when she calls them, how to leave an intelligible message, how to let someone know that she needs to end the conversation, quickly without seeming rude.  I think manners are highly under-rated and I strive to teach my children proper etiquette in all situations.  If we all did that, we might raise a generation road rage free, with the ability to act civilly in public situations.  Wouldn’t that be nice?
   

It’s been about 3 months now and we have not had any major problems.  I think being clear upfront about what was and wasn’t allowed and sticking to it have made all the difference.  Up until this point, the kids have shared the phone and we haven’t had any issues – I do think it’s almost time for my son to have his own though, as he’ll be doing a lot more next fall without me or his sister in tow. He wants an Iphone. Guess who’s not getting an Iphone.

Kajeet has a really interesting product! Wish I would have known about it earlier!

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